back in school today,
but just dun know why things are just getting more and more tiring for mi each days as it goes by.

Every day that i wake up it will just feel that i get more and mroe tired , more and more dun feel like waking up and do work or go schol for the day jus feel like sleeping forever till i can nv wake up or till i m happie ....

currently in school , physically here but mentally is just not here .
i can feel that i m just passing Time only , passing the day with no objective in mind , i m just like a zombie now ...
zombie "ing" from point A to Point B only .
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Damn sia , early morning read news sAW the new that i dun want hear and see,
the new that i know on sat was made official via NEWS and CNA.
that mean those who went ATC will kanna LOA.
reported case , was ask to self monitor .
but no systoms developed or wat so ever now , if tml clear then my ATC personall will be safe ! .

whole day in school do nth but rot cause whole days work is done in just 1 hr .

currently revising my PPDCL theory , test in about 4-5 weeks time ?
and passing rate is about 30% so have to work extra hard to pass in 1st time cuase i want to get my MPA PPCDL license fast !
hahas !!

A crack is STill a Crack, it can nv be sealed back to original form . . . no matter how hard i TRIED TRIED and TRIED .
guess only can do Damage control and minise further crack lines from forming bah .
that al i can do , if it healed or repaired closes to the original form then it will be gd bah but ...
still haiz ...

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

part 2 of ppcdl , full 100% of theory but at least not as bad as it was meant or initially thought
not bad , this is not the worse lecture that i have ever attended , at least was able to know what is going on through out the lecure til the end .
NExt stop is theory TEST SMA the follow by PRAC .
really hope that can clear all at one attempt.
now i m closer to that ppcdl card but still got 2 more major stage to cross.
was not in a really gd mood the whole day due to a call ytd to inform mi about smth that was not so nice that have happened. was not allwo to mention wat happen as it was classfied.
so now every call that rings on my phone i will also be afriad to pick it up , as i dun wish to hear that FReaking piece of news tha ti dun want to hear.


Well things happen for a reason , things happen .
well what has done has done , nth can be undone .
expaination have be done, thing will nv be back to the same agian crack line that is form will nv in any way be fix back to the prev form .
as much as i want to salvage this current situation ,condition ,friendship i feel that it is all futile.
nv want such things to happen , but well wat to do ? when smth happends smth solved, same logic as one door closes one door opens.
but this case problem happen but none of those problem that are currently on the line tha tis being solved . . . contradicts dun u think ?
maybe someone will just come and tell mi that life ? well this year is just full of This that are constantly happening ,, dun even have time for mi to breath, well 2009 is just not my year i can sae ?

even wat i applied i di dnot get , rec'd letter from MHA stating my appliation is being rejected,
haiz 2x combo happen in one night .
this is the application that i wanted the most and pinned the most highest hope on yet now it just returned to a complete blank and empty hopes . . .
well is that all that was planned in life for mi to handle and tackle ?
only that FELLOW up there understand and Knows . . .

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Yoz guy back from day 1 of PPCDL course at MCC,
journey there to MCC was terrible , shuttle bus was like !@#$ , so small and need to fight for sits.

1st day by right is only theory then tio ask do go do prac cuase class too big liao ... so when down to do prac without any spare clothings.
but heng weather was nice and gd , no serious OMB case other then planned OMB drill.

5 of us , Jia wei , brendon, desmond, mi and you rui play the boat till like no body bussiness, doing berthing and unberthing , OMB Drill like no body bussiness.
was fun urh pract, but tml will be another long day in class for theory will gonna sleep aigna in class? hope will not be the case.

journey back also another very !@#$ thing cuase we will have to do things all over agian wait fo that bus and fighting for that shuttle bus !!! ARGH !!!! .
guys pray hard for mi tml to clear my one whole DAY of theory lesson ...
in a new aircon room...

haiz why are so many things happening at this time ??? , my phone rang like no ones bussiness just now cuase smth happened...
and i really hope that nth will happen all is just a coax alarm.
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

dun want to care dun wish to care anymore, Just Fuck care very thing , just wanna get it over

and done with and settled that it . no point caring and doing so much ... end up at square 1

NO point la seriously no point la ...
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

While I have Ended My Final Area 17 ATC in my Life as a CI liao , because next year chances going ATC again will be super super low, as i will be drafted for NS Life.
this time round be it my final ATC , Things do Happen .
ALmost unable to return home Due to certain case and issue that happen, are not able to mention what happen due to confidential and sensitive materials that are involve.

Can sae that this time round Being a ACC is a complete Diffferent Feeling after all as compare to time being a Group instructor or 1st aider, being CC/ACC u will have to know what is going on and muz always be on the ball.

Even though to people out there might think that this year camp is not successfull or wat but to mi i tink that the camp is all in all done and things are carryin as planned, surely we cannot please every one as always people always ask for higher standards when they see a certain standards being meet, comments are always free andin abundance.
Being Cord to orgnise for camps is 100& not easy where we have such a shortage for manpower and facing challanges such as H1N1 having to be able to work and do last min reaction or changes to contain/prevent unwanted things from happening .


I Feel that most of all the newer batch have learnt things tat are usefull during the camp and hope that they grown better with more experience to deal with or handle situation that happen suddently/those situation that are not in the book or taught b4.


Even though i saw u on day 2 , i can see that u are not feeling very gd/happie for the day, as i m coming back from bahru i can see that u are alone out side the conference room look at the sea in deep thoughts , wanted to go forward to ask u what happened , but in the end i did not went forward becuase i m afaid that it might just add on more to ur current status , as previous days u u are not very happie towards me.
but when u are going back that time i notice certain action that u have shown, while showing mi that very weired , are u trying to show mi smth ???
if yes i m now still trying to decode what u are trying to express to mi .


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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Will be away for Back to Nature Chalet @ ubin ,
every time round will be a Different Feeling and experience
hope this time round we are able to make history and able to have a wonderful and positive experience @ my Chalet ...
let us work hand in hand and achieve the impossible and a Wonderful , Success Camp !
will be back around from 24 june onwards
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

finally piece of puzzle have been found, it pieces all this wandering pieces of the clue around. all the things that have happened all make sense now . things happen for a reason , i m who i m . :) u can Fuck mi or like mi for who i m ...

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Journey thorugh this 2 decade is not a easy job, Up and Downs come and go. Gone through more roller coaster ride then 6 flags can build in a year or even 20 years.
in this journey there are events that leave a very deep impact in my life be it gd or bad.
All events that have happen even though in surface i do not show that i care but deep down in side i do really care , either touched by wat had happen or Be super DL for that had happen , my face dun show does not mean that i dun care or i dun give a damn.

The road down is getting more and more diffcult to walk especially when u started to understand what is going on around u will understand and feel that every step tha tu have made will make either an impact or something major to someone or some thing out there. be it small or big, there is bound have effects some how, as newton aready said before everytime that happen will have it equal ooppsite reaction.

this few years the journey have been bvery hard for me to walk and finish each of the check point, but every time i managed to compelete the journey and rest at thge check point preparing for the next journey to start.
but this time round i feel that i might not even have that enough energy yo even finish that half of the race or 3/4 of the race , now is only june and i m aready feeling so tired and sian of every thing that is happening, things started happening 1 after another. it happened so fast that i do not have that time to even close that previous case and this event started happening and i have to handle that event that have happen , with things happing at such a fast rate i really wonder do i have that enough energy to finish my chapter 20 of book life. can i just call quit , end every thing once and for all ???
so that i will not have to think so much and carry on chapter 21 if there is any that is coming up waiting for mi at checkpoint 21 infront that is about a few mths's pacing away...
i really wonder...
haiz ....
u may or may not see or read this but this is all i wanted to sae out but this few day shave nt being given the chance to do so bah ,
i just have realise that u have unknowing enter to my life le, i dun mind be a fool in from of other or getting suan by u just to exchange that few mins of laughter or smile on ur face, as t will really made mi worrie if i see u in that DL or sad mood or face.
just hope that u will be happier and livelier as days goes by an dnot in this not so happy mood or emo mode
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

I dun understand why , in just such time all things around mi changed so much .
so drastically much !
My surrounding are no longer the surrounding that i know
people around mi are no longer the people that i once know
things around mi are no longer the things that i know
all are like so raw and strange to mi
all things are like stranger to mi , only they know mi and yet i dun knw them.
why do things changed in such a way ?
why . why .. why ...
while only the fellow up there knows bah ...

why are u like so stranger to mi , from ur reply i can sense that no happiness in u ...
what have really happened ???
to cause that huge reaction in u ???
or i m the one that is thinking too much ... ???
si wo xiang tai duo mah ???

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

back from kayaking area 13/14
can i say it was full of up and downs , really a event for mi to know more about a certain group of people.

got an unexpected situation happened that really tested my operation skills, got a trainer that was being attacked by a baby sting ray.
lucky that wat i learn and read from book came in handy , help her out of water and pull out the sting , she was send to hospital and gottan outpatient treatment le .

during cycles really seen how trainer work bah , got people just go hius own barang or wat and need to have the HOs to acctually come and take care of the cadets where as it is the job of the trainer to push then .

haiz ....
i m lost for words ! ...
but nv the less our email came through cat 1 at 3 cycle cause us to wash up early and go home early ! hahas :)
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

hi Hi Hi guys have not been updating was damn busy this few days, helping out for PK/HFS and etc
damn packed week for mi .

finally June batch of Pk.Hfs course have come to an end , hear there will be another sept batch ? hahas
we will see about that when it comes.
have really seem how many different types of cadets now days haiz , how CI are not of any power to them.... haiz
but wat to do ? kids now a days are so ...

after all that Pk ended when CCK for dinner ! yeah got my 1st and last Coke cup hahas =X
after accompany LCLN back while i when over to take 187 , reached home and here blogging i m hahas :)

haiz holiday passes so damn fast, few more days and i will have to start part 2 of my sem 1 and NS are so very near aready, aready saw so many of my friends that i once knew in NPCC, SEcondary SChool and etc are getting enlisted into NS, i started to think it will be my turn in less then 1 year plus time .
hahas .


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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Yoz back from kayaking at ubin ! ,
yes WE have made it ! finish 3 cycle with only 5 trainers !
was overtanned !!! hahas ! ( sunburned)
as usualy conducted 2 cycles left 3rd cycle for the new batch of kayakers !
cadets are not bad able to control kayaks , only 2 capsize need rescue.
after that dinner at white sands then train all the way home while on the line with LCLN from buona vista to home. hahas
hahas
ALL the BEST TO UR EXAMS on monday ! :)

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Another Course have ended !
2nd run of Pk have ended !
and toughtest run of all with both day less then 6 helpers but we did it after all with all the Helpers helper !
only dispointing part is that why brother have test when TRainers can discuss the answer so openly with the whole cohort ???

those 2 day survived with only less 4 hrs ? hahas !
thanks to inventer of coffee ! without my best buddy coffee i will surely fall asleep dun know since where liao ! :)

Finally gottan my HARDISK fixed liao !!!! bought a new AC/DC adpther and fix the problem ! wahaha ! good ! .

I m a BO XIM EH LANG !!!! , Cause i have aready given my xim to u le !!!
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]