have been on holidays since 15 dec,
all sea activities at campsite have come to a stop le , it is gonna be the last time that i step on campsite ground le , be the time it restarts all its sea activities for ATCs i will be serving the nation le :(
haiz full of sadness when i left campsite that day :'(
but well lets look at it from another point of view bah , it is time that we move on and let the younger one take over , as we progress up wards in to somewhere that might or will need us more ? hahas.

been on hold for all sea activities since my last L1 attachment on last tue , will have to wait till 2010 jan then will be able to go back and resume my kayaking , hopefull i m able to clear my L1 assessment real soon and at 1 go so i can go full fledge coach .

a few more days time will be 2010 le so wat have i been doing for the whole of 2009 ?
i wonder , i think i have just wasted the whole of 2009 away bah ...


haiz at the end of the day i m still who i m a loner for all festive holidays and more haiz ...

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

was thinking while on the way back home ,
those who have license drive or rather spend more time on land driving.
but mi ?
i passed my class 3 for a freaking 2 years +++ , the hrs clock is not even more then wat i have clock on driving cleaner wrasse this few days by which i have only passed 1 mth ago ...
funny urh ... food for though ...


haiz i wonder and wonder , are we like wat we are in the pass where we will talk our hearts out to each other and share our joy and laughter ?
even now when u going to 飞 u also nv tell mi , till i recently saw ur blog post ...
haiz ...
why ? why ? why is it like this ?
wat has cause the change till like tat? ...

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

i m so stupid , cuase even a simple task like making u feel better i also cannot achieve that ...
failure i m
stupid mi .

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

have been online since morning till now ,
doing nth but just staring blankly at screen ...
dun know wat to do .
guess that sat should be spend in water or ubin ! urh
once i got nth to do during sat i m just nt my self
been at home the whole day doing nth but just staring at screen and day dream or zombie around at home


having been constantly checking my HP and msn window hoping to see ur status become online and wanted to talk to u ...
but failed to see u online , Constantly checking of my hp does not spell any rewards too as it is just always at its standby screen with nth that says incoming calls or msg rec'd ...

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

i will really hope tat u will be back to ur usual self bah !
dun be like that ok :)

i wanted to show concern for u yet i m unable to do it cuase i promised to leave u alone for now till u are better ... haiz

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

I M SO FREAKING BLOODY TOUCHED
i was mention in her blog ! hahas =X
but actually dun need to thank mi de urh !
cuase i also nv do much things also hahas !

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Well things happen things passed.
things passed things happened.
so m i Unconscious Incompetence or Unconscious Competence ???
well only god knows ...
haiz .

maybe i have found u as my new motivation in life or
maybe it is not ? well only god knows

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Wo ooo oo who went southern island today !
hahas
finally after so long went back to htat place agian ! =D nth much changed it is all the same ,
just htat the crowd is gone cause it is off season bah =)
nice place to chill and nice views ! hahas =)
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

haiz should i really still carry on wearing this mask of mine and show u that i m ok de o right de ?
or i should just take off this bloody mask and tell u the brunt true ?
i really dun know how and what should i do .

all along since that day i have been wearing this damn mask all long ...

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

haiz my phone no longer show any incoming msgs or calls with ur name showing le ...

it is all beside the point now ...
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Woah
Drove White dolphin around campsite today ! for 1st cycle and also 1st time assisting in Jetty Jump , and so nice the ladder broke -_- ...

2nd cycle and 3rd cycle was back to baru doing wat i do the most kayaking ! hahas did not go out as much as 2nd cycle kids came late and 3 cycle was rain so most of the activity was reduced .
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Was at unit for CUG camp day 1 as 1st aider
following by day 2 as 1st aider too
saw that my kids are now moving up to different roles and they are trying out different things aready
feel happie for them ! :)

i GUESS MY APPROACH WAS WRONG , EVERY APPROACH IS ALSO WRONG EVERY TIME I APPROACH EVERY TIME I FAILED , IT ALWAYS ENDED UP WITH DIFFERENT RESULTS THAT I WANT !!! ARGH !
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Wah Ut today was ok have confident that i will pass ! hahas
whereas ytd de UT was a terrible day and terrible one ! haiz
gonna flunk it !!

haiz as usual lone wolf walking ! hahas living for no one but himself with no objective but random roaming around ...
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JASONFAT ]

ARgh so wat if i passed every thing ? so wat if i had things on my wish list completed ?
so wat if things are done as i wish ??? so wat ? it is just full of So whats

i just dun feel any happiness at all , my heart still feels lonely and smth missing ...
haiz ...
every day is just like walking zombie ,
wat that is on display on my face nt equal to wat is feeling deep down in my heart , every day is just wearing of my mask for different day thats it ! ...
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

AR FUJCK HATE THIS FREAKING FEELING !!!! ARGH DAMN !

so much wonderful things happening Yet i dun feel happie at all why why why u ask mi i also dun know why . if there were to be gd news i just want it to be one and that only one ... but haiz ...

how i wish the DAY nv end and the night nv come ! damn hate this feeling at night !!! NB ! ARGH !

At a moment i though i found a motivation of what keep mi going , BUT no that was just a decoy ! to distract mi temp only eventually i m back to the same old spot , motivationless and emptied ...

AR FUJCK HATE THIS FREAKING FEELING !!!! ARGH DAMN !

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Passed MY PPCDL LO !!!!!! after Second ATTEMPT !
finally ! after about 5 mths waiting !
hahas !!!!!! i can drive cleaner and dolphin le ( officially)! hahas

gottan my SCI rank lo ytd show u the pic in a min ! hahas


wa hahas my Pic when i conduct my mini exp to flyer last SAT !


haiz after so much of happie thing that are happening around mi , mine promotion to SCI , getting my PPCDL but when ever it gots to the night i still feel so damn empty and sian
feeling of smth is damn missing yet i cannot find that missing item, even if i can find and i know wat is that missing item so wat ?
things just still cannot get to wat it is and who they are .
haiz . . .
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

wahahas
rec'd the new of my promotion to SCI early ytd !
hahas
i rec'd my 1st congraz from mr chng followed by ms chen
Morning Was flooded with smses of congraz from my CI mates !
thanks ! pals !!!! hahas !!!!!

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JASONFAT ]

Back from 1 STAR ATTACHMENT @ kallang!
hahas !!
wash damn busy tml and todau whole day at the waters !
ytd 1st part of day brough my friends for a expedition to SG FLYER from water sport centre
then followed by my 1 star attachment day 1
then today is Day 2 with ITE kids from Central
a nice bunch of kids to play with hahas though not listern ir attentive at some time hahas =X
haas
but now i m burned till the max with a very dark burned sign on my face with tat trade mark oakley shop liao sian hahas !
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JASONFAT ]

Back from Ubin doign rafting today ,
1st cycle was following DY taking Cleaner to loyang to refill
then i Drove cleaner all the way back to ubin from loyang !
Zhua ! all the way ! hahas till ubin hahas fun fun 1st time driving power boat in open sea and from point A to B
cycle 2 and 3 just as per normal lo
rafting then wash up then close shop go home and subway as dinner hahas
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JASONFAT ]

yeah finally gone beach Rd buy my 3rd booties
rescue sling and karabiners liao
yeah new toys added to my kayaking list/gear ! hahas

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JASONFAT ]

haiz last week my right shoulder blade injured and now thie week is my left shoulder blade . ARGH damn it it really take turns to be injuried urh , wonder this sat which side will get injuried agian ...

haiz i really wonder m i doing the right thing now ? i reall wonder ...
i m doing or feeling wat i shouldn't be feeling or doing wat i shouldn't be doing ???
haiz
DAMn some one tell mi now ?

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

it is seriously great to know that there are still cadets that still remember mi ! after so long ...
that really make mi think that wat i have put in have not gone to waste and it is clearly not a left ear in right ear out thing.

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Back from ALC doing Abseiling .
ok la not really very " WAH exciting " cuase did it before liao
it just added to my list of places that i abseiled b4 .
hahas

Rigging and standing by ...



virus coming down ! ...


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JASONFAT ]

Back From Resilience !
1st time did a KOP with more then 90 plus cadet on each cycle !
1st cycle was chaotic !
terrible kayaks floating every people turning in cycles power boats tow here and there .
so change tactic for cycle all instructor formed perimeters around the area of paddle and force them to paddle in side our perimeter .
atleast was better
wash up was fast , as i being mi i was on time 1/2 hr clear up more then 40++ vessel and so far every time when i was on washing station it nv failed to exceed time !. =X

did my rolls , but still not perfect yet . ... haiz ...
but nvm i will keep in trying and trying till i get it perfect ...
so shall talk till here cuase tired shag liao will talk tml ! :)
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JASONFAT ]

WILL be OFF TO CAMP RESILIENCE !
long time no go le !
i miss u RESILIENCE !
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JASONFAT ]

Damn wat a Week i had man ! DAMN THIS WEEK !
lucky tml i going to an end ! heng ! hahas !

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JASONFAT ]

Damn down with Flu , feeling so damn drowsy due to medication
ARGH !

it just added to my currrent injury list
SWOLLEN GUMS + CRACK LIPS + FLU + NOSE BLOCK ...
argh ! damn week !

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

SUFFERING FROM SWOLLEN GUM + CRACKED LIPS ...

IT SHATTERED TOTALLY SHATTERED.

i think that losing all my data in my old HD is a sign to sae that it is no longer possible for things to go on le .
it was agian further proven by facts and figures le ...
shattered ... totally
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JASONFAT ]

SUFFERING FROM SWOLLEN GUM ... HAIZ
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JASONFAT ]

Just completed my 1st KOP attachment with KIM from X current !
was fun but tiring hahas
2 x Session in one day 3 hrs each with half hr of lunch break ? haha s
7 km for 1st session and less then 5 km for the session
to totall 12km of paddling around kallang waters :)
will prefer 1st cycle cause it is more like a expedition with the KOP Group we went Flyer and over looking marina barrage. it was more paddling and less fun/games for group 1
but group 2 is more fun less padding as the group most or all of them dun have kayaking experience ?
some them tend to go off course at times too .
so need to push and get them back , but group 2 more hyper compre to group 1 cuase group 1 just dun talk de is rather more of u sae i do type.


HAIZ , IN LIFE ALWAYS U WIN SOME U LOSE SOME.
IS NV WIN WIN SITUATION DE NV , IT NV WILL !!!


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JASONFAT ]

SO fast week 1 of school is ending le !!!
so far so gd every day going to a new class i just like going back to my old class , as 50% of the class mate there are either my EX classmate or i previouly. so going to classes on week 1 is no longer feeling that strange nor funny , the class just liven up fast and funcation like a normal week 10 or week 9 class le totally not like a new class at all ! .

Will really hope that CHH will take back the words that was mention that time , becuase it really hurts bad on Mr J le :( pls start talking or reply to Mr J ok ? CHH ? will be waiting .....

Mr J is happiethat MS x is talking to him and is no longer angry with him le . =)
just hope that it will mantain this Way and only improve not DEprove
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JASONFAT ]

Mr J have been online till late just hopping to see Ms X online but after so many days of waiting it is still unable to see her online .
but nevertheless MR J will still hold on and wait for Ms X to online and chat with her ?
sae out those things that have been in his mind for so long, nv have the chance to sae it out .
hope tat he will be given the chance to sae it all out to Ms X and also to be able to have that chance to take care of her ...
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

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JASONFAT ]

Hahas even if i were to disappear from where i m now , no one will even have noticed.
i m just a nobody and worth nth
i m just a invisible man
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JASONFAT ]

Stupid ankle ,
because my old injuries i cannot attend today round ubin expedition ARGH !!!!! !@#$
AGNRY ANGRY ANGRY WITH MY SELF ! why not later then come back the injury ? !
NB !


below is the conversation between Mr J and Ms X

Mr J : can u give mi a chance to take care of u ?
Ms X: 我不值得你对我好你明白吗? 我没资格要别人疼我... 因为我不懂得如何珍惜别人...
Mr J :值得不值得不是你说的算而是让爱你的人说的算。

你何珍惜我不要紧，我如何珍惜你那才要紧。

因为我爱的是你而不是别人

Ms X : ( wat will be her reply ? stay tune as Mr J is also waiting for her reply )

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JASONFAT ]

left with 1 expedition and 1 exam .
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Mr J is turning in circles now ! ...
argh ! ....
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Wahahas ,
one week passed just like that .
cannot imgin that i have gone out to sea 4 days next to each other , one day kallang ,next day LRB , next day LRB and finally kallang agian .

hmm let mi recall my adventure here hahas ,

DAy 1 of L1 course was abit tiam as we will have to recall all the strokes that we have learn from
our 1 star and 2 star course , how we as instructor will have to present our self and etc and we will always remember this KISS !
keep it simple and safe .
DAy 2 of L1 Course was the highlight why i sae so , OUR DEAREST GL sae check PFD need to have one fist in side , marvin commented then ladies will need to have 2 fist to make sure they breath properly true enough all of us burst in to laughters !

Day 3 will be this coming monday , then 1/2 day of theory will mark the end of L1 course and start of my attachment as a L1 trainee .

jetty Jump course is very simple course as steps to comduct is sort of simple and just leap and jump . BUT the steps of going to conduct and the safety precaution is VERY INTENSE , there are alot of safety steps and process we will need to complete b4 we can conduct the jump.

Boat handing training was sort of fun as we are expose to more of the other type of boats , like tiller and steering boats , tiller was more tough as it is not so simple as compare to the steering type.

well next week i m left with 1 more day of L1 course following by round ubin , 1/2 day of theory L1 course and finally my PPCDL PRACT Test.
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JASONFAT ]

Away on course till 28 sept .
c ya guys
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JASONFAT ]

===========================================================

TO ALL READERS READ AT UR OWN DISCRETION ,
IF U CANNT TAKE IT THE PS GET LOST .

THANKS !!!

===========================================================

TO that FUCKER OUT THERE !

CAN U STOP POKE UR FUCKING NOSE IN TO MY FUCKING BUSSINESS ?
KNN THINGS HAPPEN U NOT HERE NOW COME FUCK MY BUSSINESS
NB WHO THE FUCK U THINK U ARE ?
EVEN IF U ARE THE BLOODYING FUCKER UP THERE U THINK U WILL EVEN GIVE U FUCK OF WHO U ARE ?
U ARE JUST A NO BODY I TELL U , I CAN BE A LONE WOLF BUT U CAN ALWAYS WELCOME TO COME FUCK IN TO MY BUSSINESS AND U WILL SEE WAT WILL HAPPEN TO U NB

WHEN LONE WOLF BECAME AGGRESSIVE IT IS JUST TOO LATE .

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

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JASONFAT ]

2009 JUST NOT MY YEAR
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WAh today was a great day !
1st part of the day helped out ESTHER ! ... hahas
then lynna join in at the later part of the day
then as usual tio bomb and arrow by 2 of there liao sian ...

then Wah interested part comes in , badminton session with the rest of the Cis and Chng !
nv tried b4 4 solids of badminton hahas tok kong ar !
power

scored a few points , 1st 5 point is smash hit that kana esther legs ( by right later kana chase by her and shoot at mi 6 shuttle and 2 cover by which none hit mi ... =X )

then followed by a few 10 points hits and 1 more 5 points hits on other player like cheryl and terence hahas :)
as usual my entry today will not lai ang ! LOL
will Lai Lam :)

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Wah woke up damn early today went on a VERY important and urgent mission!
meet cheryl GOH at JE then terence lynna you rui at Yew TEE plan A was a failure cuase not enought recee mission was done.
then we rush to area B for Plan B
cuase target was at Area B , Plan B was a Success !!!
then went for Breakfast thus was late for unit Training , sian
haiz
but wat i will sae about the unit training is that at 1st was Quite ok with the result BUT after that was DAmn Piss with some one shall not mention name !
Even i have to Show respect to him
Wat to SAE u !!!!
!@#$

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JASONFAT ]

well another batch of Pk/hfs course have ended ,
it has been the 5/6 time i have been taken this course as a helper to cover mountain and sea, i will sae that though this 5/6 times i have seen alot of cadets with alot of patterns, been through different working styles with different colleagues.
have earned mi alot of different experiences that maybe money cannot bring me.
this may be the last batch that i m going help out in my CI ship before i embark on to my 2nd part of my journey of my life.

being in HTA for countless time, this time is the time that i see Alot of my previous friends, classmates in there as they have aready embark on the journey faster then mi, see them embark doing their training here and there in HTA will constantly making mi feel that my time will be very soon in the very near future .
which will make me think back my days there as a CIT and how we suffered as one and enjoyed as one, it also goes to show that i m old le , it is time to handover , pass on , move on and let the younger ones take the lead le . . .



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JASONFAT ]

to that kuku someone out there ,
please know where u stand , NB lim peh help u is out of goodwill and friendship knn u better dun take it for granted and give mi that fucking Attitude that i OWN u that bloody favor and stop showing that Fucked up Attuide ...
have u ever wonder y have staarted not to get involved in ur bloody bussiness and rather go out there to do smth else.
and u always feel that people that tat bloody attuide problem but have u ever thing that the problem acctually lies on u instead of others ?
let mi tell u , u have not think of that .

at times i choose not to speak is not because u are right, is just that i dun feel like speaking up as the result of speaking up will be = of not speaking up. so no point.
Things will turn out Nasty if i started to speak up .
so just struck that bloody idea up in ur arse or wat every hole u have that when people are helping u dun fucking show people that F u attuide .

'PEOPLE DUN OWE U A LIVING NOR DO THEY TAKE SALARY FROM U
u this bastard...
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

YOz CHH i BLOG JUST FOR U NOW ! LOL hahas !!!
as mention !
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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

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JASONFAT ]

well since a week every since i blogged
well holiday start my life still carry on as per normal
Sat went A16 as kayaker , well can sae that learn quite a lot from the debrief that happened during cycle 1 ending , i m sure my team agree too !
then after lunch went to have boat prac for a while
that the end of my sat

after rest of the day till today then i have completed shedding skin!
hahas !
well guess there is also nth much that i can blog , cause i also cannot think of wat to sae and wat to write now.

treasure the present and wat u have NOW , as u will know wat the future will hold.

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JASONFAT ]

Wah time flies
Year3 Sem 1 have come to an end !
every thing just seems TOO fast once sept hits by the time u know is already Christmas le
BUT till then is Holiday !
5 WEEKS ! WAHAHAS !
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JASONFAT ]

Wah today finally come to an end !
Whole damn day was so Freaking pack
from 2pm all the wat to 2000 !
2 UTs and 1 Theory test paper !
all come to and end le !
Wahahas !
PASSED my PPDCL Theory Test ! now is PRAC coming up next !
Wahahas !

sian back injury back to haunt mi liao AR .... sian ...
pain cannot even sit up straight ..
sian

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So many friends brothers and sisters around mi .
Yet none is able to help mi when i needed the help the most .
haiz ...
well that life i would sae
at the end of the day i m still feeling so empty ...
haiz

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JASONFAT ]

Virus feels so empty suddenly , is because of the withdrawal syndrome that he is suffering,as he physical action does not tally with his heart's action .

hmm to him he feels that one he made this stand gave tat reply , it is no point every night staying up so late just to wait for answer , weather to see u online or to see ur sms or etc.
it is no point for so much that he has done .
all of tat will just have to come to a stop.
every thing that he had done all have come to a halt and stopped.
no point carry on any more with no results . . .
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JASONFAT ]

why when i wanted to release my clenched fist
my heart is tell mi other wise ?
haiz ...
i need enlightenment ! pls
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JASONFAT ]

I believe it is time to let go , no point holding on to things so tightly with my 2 fists fully clenched so tightly till the nails starts cutin to flesh.
because i was enlighten by a quote that i happened to read from on the net ." the harder u hold on / clench on to ur fist , it is only that much that u can hold on with that 2 tightly clench fist , Why not let it go, open up ur fist and let many many others stuffs to come and rest on my palms."
which i will believe when fists are opened up u will be opeing up to many chances that will come be as both fists are empty so u are free to hold on to any that passes by... ...

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JASONFAT ]

CCB ! u want to play this way ? no problem i will PLAY EVEN BIGGER ! KNN !!! CCB !!!

some CBK want to play stunt , just see lor ! more shows ! up head ! look out for channel Jasonfat !
too bad i can be super friendly and super siao with u but u knn come F my place OR step my toes , then too bad i will F u back 10x the amount that u came to F mi.
i dun give a F who this CBK is even son of P i also F , NB CCB !

CONGRAZ CBK U JUST SPOILED MY F MOOD FOR THE NIGHT , IT SHOULD BE THE PROUDEST MOMENT OF UR LIFE TIME ENJOY WHILE IT LAST. . .

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JASONFAT ]

Mr J though he had get it over ! , but he hasn't !

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JASONFAT ]

The Song would relate wat i m feeling right now ?
每个人都在问 我到底还在等什麽
等到春夏秋冬 都过了难道还不够
其实是因为我的心有一个缺口 等待拿走的人把它还给我
每个人都在说 这种爱情没有结果 我也知道
你永远都不能够爱我 其实我只是希望
你有时想一想我 你却已经渐渐渐渐什麽都不再说

我睡不著的时候 楔ㄦ有人陪著我
我难过的时候 楔ㄦ有人安慰我
我想说话的时候 楔ㄦ有人了解我
我忘不了你的时候 你楔ㄦ来疼我
你知不知道 你知不知道 我等到花儿也谢了
你知不知道 你知不知道 我等到花儿也谢了


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JASONFAT ]

对的！就是你Mr Fat 喜欢的人就是你！！！
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JASONFAT ]

Fyp today is just Chuied or rather it is successful ?
hmmm well only when results are release we will know bah
Question just come shooting when we just started presenting, and we can have accessor asking wrong Questions or mis understand our project scope.
but nevertheless our project's aim really have rouse interest in our Accessor which in turn Gave us tons of idea to help us do our projects.
till then just pray hard for our results bah !
haiz ...
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Mr J have just Far too many thing to sae le !
just dun know how to open his mouth or phrase it to tell u .
yes u ! no body but just U !
Mr J hope that u can be back to ubin real soon !
will miss u deep deep tiill u are back ! said Mr J
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JASONFAT ]

After so much have been done, Mr J still cannot get over it and move on , although Mr J think that after those thing that he have done he can move on and carry on life as per normal , but it is just impossible because flashbacks still comes back and haunt him !
even though officially IT nv started at all which is true , it nv started at all but Mr J just feel that it has started for him. but well it is just another one way traffic lor is wat Mr J can say .

Mr J have finally understand what is going on this few days le , but the feeling is totally different when u know that a person is there , they might not be 100% always beside but atleast u know that they are there . and knowing that the person is not there the feeling it totally Different .

Mr J will really hope that u and him will be true and things worked out agian justlike last time, but he himsself know that it is impossible , or hardly possible...
Mr J would really really wish that one chance where to be given to him but will he be granted that one more chance ? to submit in that application during application season for Ms X ? will only she has that ans . . .
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JASONFAT ]

Out of all this Big Circle that i m Turning and moving i m still back to Square 1 ,
that is all alone and infront of my com , thinking and reflecting.

it is all fate ? is it the destined path that i have been assigned to take for mi for my life ?
to keep on beating round the bush and ended up back to the same starting point either lossing someone that i care about or concern about OR ended up at the same spot as per wat i started ? no movement at all ?

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JASONFAT ]

Well this 2 days Mr J have been alone reflecting about what has happen for the pass few weeks ,
and true enough several issue that he have though about really come to his mind and he still cannot think of an answer.
no matter how much he have though of it how long he has gone to reflection he will nv and it is NV have think of an answer out . . .
there are also several this such as 水能载舟，亦能覆舟 | 良心超法律，真理天下平 | 修身齐家,治国平天下.
all this sentence are VERY True and each sentence Do represent smth and if u really give deep thought to go in and think through u will understand how each of this quotes actually come in to ur life and interface with ur life.

for his past few days duno why Mr J will always feel that there is smth that is missing , but it is just that he cannot really describle that missing feeling or Wat is that missing item or feeling and where does it came from .
it is someone that have been absent for that 2 days or is it a feeling that Mr J have not been experiencing ?
which is which ?
answer is who will know ? even mr J does not know , but will his Brothers and his friends knows the answers ? ?
if they know PLEASE come forward and enlighten Mr J , let him see the light ...
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JASONFAT ]

Mr J Guessed that there is not more chance anymore NO MORE Such chance le no more !!!! ...

There is also no point any more to carry on the storying telling any more.
every thing will come to and end now .
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JASONFAT ]

Today Mr J have ponned lesson , all thanks for the delay of the train that spoiled his mood totally .
during the journey back Mr J took a longer route to get home , the Route that his has not take for a long long time.
During back images and flash back of that had happened in the past kept on coming back to haunt him ,which lead to him thinking that why is it always getting so close then it all will have to get to and end... why why why and why , this question keep on coming on to his mind time after time.

Just like when MR J went out with Ms X and gang out , most of the things that Mr J have done is like so many Donkey years ago , and now he is doing it all over agian just because of her.
Things like K session, movie session. all this have not been happening in Mr J's life ever since about 2 years ago since the last time he had with that Someone , no matter who ask MR J out for such event in the past MR J would reject such offers because he do not want to let past memory to came back to haunt him again when he is going for K or movie or event that he had gone before with that someone in the past.
but it is just strange that MR J is going for such events agian when Ms X is present in those events, may be there is some very special attraction force that is pulling Mr J over , with th knowledge that past memories may be back to haunt him but he still went ahead.

is it Mr heaven is playing tricks on him about R/S or it is just fate that it is meant to be this way or is it some one have been putting a curse on him ?
be it Ms X or Ms S or any Ms X,Y,Z ,or who ever ...
why why why why and why is always the question Mr J ask him self and will nv get an answer back ...
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JASONFAT ]

It is virus story time ,

Friends of Mr J keep asking him why and wat made him like Ms X ?
All Mr J would sae is that it is that un describable feeling that once MR J saw Ms X , those feeling is like a feeling that Mr J had nv feeled b4, a force that is attracting Mr J to Ms X , though MR J have many Females friends, some are even close to him , but all of those females friends that feeling that Mr J has is nv present in any of his female friends but only exists on Ms X .
though Mr J had face lots of diffculty in the process but though all he had launched 2 attack to declare his feelings towards Ms X but both attempts failed.

and Mr J had gone though the more saddest period which is about his wrong move of him to show biasness to wards her for certain event, as it really results in a very bad turn out.
but Mr J would like to thank Mr Y for that chance to sit down with Ms X after the course to talk out though the session is not a very nice session at least Mr J knows that where he had done wrong and how to improve for the better from there.

that really lead to a 1 mth plus plus slient stand down between Mr J and Ms X , during that period of time for Mr J every thing came crashing down , most of the things that always seemed right for Mr J started to go wrong , even simple programing langangue can go wrong for him , all injuries started coming back to find him.
All things just dun seems to work well for him , he is just like a walking zombie , with no goals and vision set in mind, everyday is just walking to school get in class , lunch eat , presentation present, lesson finish go home and sleep , and cycle repeats for him ...

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JASONFAT ]

ARGH ! DAMN !
MY back injury worsen le ! damn !

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JASONFAT ]

Virus story telling time , , ,

Mr J have known Ms X for about 4 months, 16 days or 138 days since the day MR J meet Ms X in one of the event that both of them helped out.
it is about 4mths , and this 4 mths Mr J have gone through very happy times with Ms X and also Sad times with Ms X , well sad times all Mr J can blame is to blame him self for doing such stunts and cause Ms X to be angry , so Mr J cannot blame any one , but him self.
though 4 mth is not very long nor is it very short , all MR J can sae is that he had Very enjoyable time and it is Time well Spend with Ms X .
be it time out for K or out for duties to perform or even just by accompany Ms X back .

But Stupid Mr J Go do Stupid stunt by showing favourism to Ms X and cause Ms X to be super angry and Mr J super Sad and regrete that wrong chose made , cause at tht time Mr J just want to have more time with Ms X thus he will always wish Ms X to be present to performed the duties so he can have more time interacting with Ms X becuase MR J know that Ms X is very busy , the only time that he is be able to intract with her is only during such events when she performing her duties but well MR J made a wrong move thus bring everything crashing down eventually lead to an end of every thing ...

Mr J heard tat from Ms X that she had Done Well for her Presentation ! , really hope that what wat MR J have help her will come to be in handy bah ...
WELL DONE MS X !
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JASONFAT ]

today was a nice day for mi , my back injury is getting better !
and i had bought a new desktop , currently migrating my existing data from my prev desktop over! hahas : )

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JASONFAT ]

It is virus story telling time agian! ,
Mr J talked to Ms X , his claim was right that if he were to turn up for the dinner date Ms X will be unhappie ? cause Ms X mention that she wasn't in much of a gd mood ytd .
but during the talk Mr J understand that currently Ms X is quite happie? casue she has lots of Friends that are caring for her and tries to made her happie !
Mr J is also hope that Ms X will be happie ! very happie for many days to come !
cuase MR J dun like friends to be sad and moody esp is Ms X !

Mr J would like to delicate the song to Ms X :)
Mr J have told Ms X she will not be left alone as he is always a phone call away he will nv break this promise even if the call is in the wee hrs !
Mr J made a promise to himself that he will go all out to protect all his brothers and sisters out there ! no one is excluded in his cycle of brotherhood .



The rain just never seems to bring
the joy I feel the same.
Everlasting pain of my loss remains.

My heart can't seem to learn to part
the hold you left your mark.
All that I dreamed of now it seems so stark

Though I told myself won't hold my breath
a part of me was dying
there is nothing left for me to do now but give in.

If you gave me one chance
to tell you just how I was feeling
I would sing to you and tell you
I won't live my life without you

If you gave me one chance
to tell you just how I was feeling
I would hold your hand and look in your eyes
and you know I'd never let you go

The way you left me on the train
I don't know what to say.
I remember everything of that day

I can't believe we'd never dance
I just need one more chance
to share the sunset our one last romance...


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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

back from kayaking A3
was not a bad day after all .
but at the start of the day while going on bum boat to Ubin we saw a very sad scene and sad case,
that really remind us that the sea is merciless and it can help u so can it Kill u .
as the chinese saying goes 水能载舟，亦能覆舟
haiz .
over kayaking was ok today , did only 2 cycle and off we go home !!! hahas
reach home around quite early as compare to other day s at ubin !
but i gottan the worse case scenario that is my back injury is BACK to haunt mi again! ARGH
damn cannot even sit up properly now ARGH !
but nvm it will be ok in a day or 2 urh ! lets pray hard and hope for mi hahas

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REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Virus got a story to tell
one fine day
Mr Y asked Mr J to go for dinner with Ms X and due to a bad experience that Mr J know that if he is present chance of making Ms X angry will be high thus , Mr J will rather not go for that dinner outing as Mr J will rather see Ms X happie that to see her sad.
as MR J dun like friends around him to be sad and moody, as he will rather be that person that is sad.
so MR J truly thank Mr Y for tat invite.

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JASONFAT ]

After so many events have happened, so much highs and lows have happened, it is always the foolish me that think it will we will be walking in 2s rather than mi now walking along as a lone wolf alone this lonely long road.
I m tired seriously I m tired.
过了这么久,走过了这么多经历了这么多起起落落,傻傻的我每次都以为过后就可以两个人一起走,不过每次到底都是我孤独得一个人走着遥远孤独的一条路.
我累了真的累了

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JASONFAT ]

Hais life as usual ,
standard boring no life, life
everday mon to fri, school 10 to 4 go home , or wed FYP 10 to 2 ? then home rot rest sleep next day cycle repeats all over agian ...
sat if got lobang then will be at ubin 0800 to 1700 , home rest sleep
sunday rest day at home rot , then cycle for the week repeats agian ...

haiz wat a boring zombie life i have .... :)
sunday finally going to get new desktop for mi room , as it died on mi since 2 weeks ago .
guess cold turkey treatment have stopped and ended for mi liao
guess only 1 person will know what is cold turkey treatment...

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0

saw it on the net and share with u guys !

Dear IT Support,

Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a slow down in the overall performance, particularly in the flower, gifts and jewellery applications that had operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.

In addition, Husband 1.0 un-installed many other valuable programs, such as Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6..5, but installed undesirable programs such as Formula One 5.0, NBA 3.0 and World Cup 2.0.

And now Conversation 8.0 no longer runs and House Cleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system. I've tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.

What can I do?

Signed,
Desperate Housewife

Reply:

Dear Desperate Housewife,

First keep in mind:

Boyfriend 5.0 is an entertainment package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.

Try entering the command C:\ I THOUGHT YOU LOVED ME and download Tears 6.2 to install Guilt 3.0 ..

If all works as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewellery 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.

But remember, overuse can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0 or Late Night Teh Tarik 6.1.

Late Night 6.1 is a very bad program that will create ?SnoringLoudly.wav files.

Whatever you do, DO NOT install Mother-in-Law 1.0 or reinstall another Boyfriend program. These are not supported applications and will crash Husband 1.0..

In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have a limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly.

You might consider additional software to improve memory and performance. I personally recommend Hot Sexy Dress 3.0 and Tongkat Ali 6.9.

Good Luck,
IT Support
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

looks like gonna be more tired as the week comes ! hahas
ATC resumes ! and that will mean more Kayaking to come ! hahas
really enjoyed kayaking there as i feel more relax there even though i will feel super tired , at the end of every cycle after every cycle.

well getting super tired is better then stayin at home and waiting for time to sleep and eat and to have flash back urh ! i m sure some one will agree with mi de hor ! CHH ! =X hahas
will i be sended for more courses in the future ? i hope hahas

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

When it is time to Let to it is Time to Let go ,
When it is time to Go it is time to go , u Cannot stay any longer, cause yan wan yao ni shan jing si bu hui lui ni dao wu gen
When it is not the time for u to go u CANNT go and u WUN go

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

I was born on a Thursday and since my birthday...
I've been living for 20 years
I've been living for 246 months
I've been living for 7,490 days
I've been living for 179,771 hours
I've been living for 10,786,264 minutes
I've been living for 647,175,893 seconds
My heart has beaten more than 755,038,480 times!
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

well today is just those normal monday , wake up damn early attend PT session .
i feel that mi my self is getting more and more weaker as compare to last time ?
only did 2 laps and i almost KOed ??? followed by another set or circuit training at least this time round i m able to complete the whole set of the training .

during lesson is still agian my fav module where i can play with the Prac session and create better VI then other team !!!!
finally ... hahas

went back unit today , can sae tat there is alot to catch up, cause it has been a while since i when back to unit le, saw my kids was as usual very disspointed with them , but wat to do ? what i have aready done i have did my best le will just hope for the best bah .
have read ur recent entries it show that u are much more happiler ? u have achieve the objective of leading a muc more simpler life ?
i only want u to be happy and live every day to ur max ! :) take care my friend !
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

ARGH!!! have decide to let my Wife go , it have been with mi for 5 years , Damn 5 freaking long years !

this few years problem have been surfacing for numerous time , as always i done damage control and manage to save her from dieing and going away. but this time rnd i have decided to let it go and not to let her suffer as damage is beyond repairs liao, since ytd 1900 hrs she haas been showing signs of the same old illiness that have haunt her for about 2 years ago, did CPR and possible rescue operation but still no use , nth can revive her le . also dun wish to do damage control as it will prevent and NOT cure, the problem, time to let her go and retire with honor !

For those friends there who that that i m siao why i treat all this non living with feelings , i can tell u that i i believe that al things hae feelings , even dead materials. if u treat it with respect,love and care it will in turn service u will and out live beyond its shelf life.

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Argh Damn today is just now my day ! @!#$
start of the day hp was down both HP was down with no bATT ! bad oman liao !
Damn need to send N97 bck to serice centre cause it just refuse to charge KNN !
then heng AAR went well with nth much a major fighting session but rather just feedback session and learning experience sharing.
then back home Damn my room desktop Old problem rack up agian ! NB , tml gonna send to service centre liao lazy to trouble shoot casue anyway still under warrenty for 5 years , just let the tech settle for me.

just to damn for anything else just plain lazy and tired liao , no motivation to do anything ...

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

today is friday le ! weekends are coming ,
well i can say things are more or less settle and set le ?
well all i can do now is let my MR heaven close all deal for mi bah no use doing anything if he dun approve my deal in the end .

I m ALL ready up for my upcoming WAR !!! all loaded charged up and chambered up , safety off ! ready to fire ! .
leave no men behind ! we come as 1 we go as 1 , WO RA ! i got u covered ! GO GO GO GO !

i know u will read this de u will .
just de u on msn is just no u la , not the usual u on msn .
u just seemed so hyper high , i just cannt believe that it is u ?
well all that i can sae just now is all my camo post are all for no body but u !
not anyone but the chosen one ! that is u !
i m serious , i m not singing any song from wondergals or wat it is just for u .

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

i m surprised that i survived the Training today !
not as tired as day1 , body is not as chui as day 1, is my body telling mi that it is slowly getting use to the Training liao ?
that same only endurance circuit training ! run here and there like mad , Nevertheless out group is the 1st to end we are left with tons of time to shower ! hahas .
Triceps are still in pain ! :'( cannt even my arm high sian diao ...
lesson today was ok , i NV Ko like on monday ! wahahas !
tml will be friday and then will be sat then sun that the end of Year 3 Sem1 Week 11 .
time flies , few weeks time will be our FYP presentation liao , Going to be in OT mode liao ...

如果我真的变成回忆,会有谁会想起我？ 因该没有人吧。。。

when i sae that i like you , I MEAN IT !

当我说我喜欢你，我是任真的！
na shi wa gong wa su ka ni , Wa si gong jing eh !
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

1st task done on my to do list , bought a new running shoes !
stilll got few more task pending ...
will be completed soon


AAR coming up soon !
time to get REAL busy VERy vERy vERy Soon !
my hands and legs are no longer mine , as they are not behaving as i command them to be.
Tml will be just another day to of the fitness program training wonder which part of our body will they target agian .



Just dun know why when ever it get to the night i will just sit in front of my com staring at blank doing nth , i myself also dun knw what i m doing ...
maybe i just want to stare at my monitor and see ur msn's float coming up to show that u are now back at home safely
how i wish that every sms or calls is from u but obviously it isnt from u . . .


smth is always missing whenever it hits this time at night , i can feel what is missing , but i just cant have that enough courage to do it ? or just to lift up the recivier and dial a few numbers ?
currently have alot of things going through in my mind but i just cannot pen it down in words to type it out here , it is just a Very mixed feeling and hard say type of feeling...


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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

need a new running shoes ,
need a new shorts for sports,
need a new boot lace ,
need a new case for my HP,
need a new WHY U SO KPO ??? :PPPP
need a new gal friend !!! LOL ! ! !
need a new mi ? ? isit ever possible ??? hahas ...
wanting to for diving course ! when will it be ?
well item in red will try to get them after FYP cuase will need to use them on thur ?
sian damn the new program hahas
item in white are just for craps only it will nv happen . . .
cause i predicted so ? . . .
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

virus feel chuied after today training program, to long nv exercise liao only workout less then 45 mins of circuit training whole body feels so chui and full of achs, just hope that my old injuries dun come back and haunt me bah PRAY HARD !
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Ps to all those who kana big time by mi today .
wasn't in the right state of mind today when i woke up,
was drag out of my hus after brunch.
so any one who tries to be funny or disagree with me just now will know wat i mean by kana by me.

ps la ar , next time u see virus not in right state of mind just dun come and F with him , if not then bear ur own consquences !

that all i got to sae bb

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

well i guess how zombie i m life still have to pass and world dun stop moving just for u this idiot that had become zombie right ? ...

whoel day did nth but just sleeping, wake , sleep
did hardisc spring cleaning found lots of my olden days pictures ! , have posted them in my FB go ahead go there and take a look ! :)
Well those were the time ! i will say
if time were to turn back how i wish that i can go back to my secondary school days where we are so care free and not so much problem and politics to talk and care about ... haiz

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

woah looks like time really zoom pass like dun know wat !
was cleaning my HD then i saw this pics when we are in our grading year in my Secondary school and it is like abour 3 to 4 years ago de pics ? and it all looks so fresh in our memories just like ytd !
haiz we are oold le !
it is about time for us to walk down the memory lane b4 our secondary school goes into Prime ? hahas

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Wah tiam , today i was the 1st time i conduct dry shoot for the Biggest Group, about 20 + cadets leh tiam !
lots of things needed to be covered are lots , so bo pian just teach them all the things that are impt and needed 1st then will have to carry on the next session to teach them part2.
was surpise to find Ex RP faci to be my TO ! hahas was talking with him all the way while walking with home ! hahas learn interesting facts about RP from the other side of RP life hahas !

FYP today was ok i will say ?
but EVEN WED also need to have prison systerm to FYP student WAH PIANG ! haiz

May be it is now time for me to go to the place where i wanted to go for a long long long long time!

A place that i will find my inner peace ! and isolation from the world ...

我对你是真心的，我对这段感情也是真的。
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Was listening to FM just now , as song played ,
familiar songs were heard and flash back all started coming back
it just bring mi back to think why do such things happen ?
why does a single event changes every thing ? ? ?
is it all fated ?
is it all planned by the fellow up there ?
can we be back to the usual us or the us in the past ?
well answer will be deep down between both of us ? i will sae ??

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

Lesson as per normal today ! ,
today is my most active day in DSP , chiong all the way till 3 meeting !
play all the matlab till i happie !
reach home sleep till now then wake ,
dinnering now cum supper...
thats my day .
a super no life standard day in prison ...
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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]

sumary for today

went cut hair,
went imm ,bought speaker for my office, a safari bed for my office too .
go giant walk one round come out , take bus reach home , there where i m now .

thats all for the day .

All i want is to see u happie ! Thats all i want ! .
i wun want to see u in ur current status pack ur self with o much things and wear ur self out !

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THANKS
REGARDS,
JASONFAT ]